Closing (Chemo) Time

TODAY is “THE” day. The worst, best day of my life!!

24 weeks of appointments, a biopsy, a PET/CT scan, an MRI, an EKG, complete panel of genetic testing, 5 months of weekly bloodwork, about a hundred self-breast checks, 4 rounds of the “red devil” (as they call it), 16 rounds of chemotherapy total and up next surgery. Just to name some things that comes with an aggressive cancer diagnosis. (I’m sure I forgot some things)

Today I celebrate my last round of chemo for GOOD because honestly, it doesn’t want to deal with me again. With surgery will come the news; news on whether or not this monster has left the building.

I’m not telling you this just to say it. Self-breast checks save lives. Genetic panels give you knowledge. I’m telling you this so that you have more options than I did at my time of diagnosis. Be your own advocate. Especially, being so young where breast cancer is not routinely scanned for. After all, you know your own body better than anyone else.

I have learned a couple takeaways from this experience that I would like to share with you:

1. Being 23 years old (24 as of Jan 4.) given the diagnosis of this disease was a HUGE wake up call. But I'm confused. I'm confused why I was told so many times, "Oh, it's probably nothing" or "It's probably a cyst" or "You're so young." WHY was this talked about so nonchalantly? All along I was not sleeping, my body was telling me something was wrong. Thank God I pushed and pushed for answers. Thank God I got necessary testing. It seems as almost a daily occurrence that I receive messages from young ladies, like myself, thanking me for being vulnerable and sharing this experience, bringing awareness, etc. Most of these messages include that they too found benign breast lumps because of a self-breast check and were given the same "reassuring" thoughts. It's NOT fair. If I would have waited and went against my gut, things would not be good. My tumor was consuming my breast in a matter of weeks. It is clear that disease does not age discriminate. WHY is there not regular testing? WHY is there not more awareness? WHY are young girls (and boys) not learning about self-breast checks? A simple blood-test in the 23 years of my life would have shown I was BRCA +. 1 blood test.

2. Social Media is both a blessing and a curse. Yes, it gets a bad rap, BUT for things such as spreading awareness for causes, it is a Godsend. I do most of my sharing via social media and it has given me a community that makes me feel safe and accepted. It gives me an outlet to show my true colors and be as vulnerable as I'd like about my disease. With that said, I have seen through messages some of the lives my experience has impacted. Then I got to thinking, what if everyone was honest and vulnerable about their lives and experiences. Maybe some wouldn't feel so alone? Maybe some would be able to find a community they thought only had a population of ONE. One is a lonely number my friends. I can relate...I was diagnosed with a disease that the median age of is 62!! Talk about alone and completely unrelateable. I'm at a completely different life stage. So, if I can offer you a word of advice for 2020; be your BEST and BEAUTIFUL self. Be true. It could save a life.

Thank you all for your love and support throughout this process. You’ve been incredible. For that, I am forever thankful.

CHEMO FREE, BABY!! I’ll cheers to that.